John Doe.


First off, there are far too many titles for this post.
Saturday night was both pleasant and hell for me.

By this point in the day I don’t think I even remember anything of what happened last night. I do know that after getting two of my girls back to our floor I had a great time.

So, to start:

4/6 girls wanted to get, and quote shitfaced

and from the moment they said they wanted to do that, I knew. I knew it was going to get bad.

So they all had their shots, one too many in my opinion. One girl’s friends came which were three other guys and another girl, though she really didn’t seem to fit the “partying” look. Anyways one of the girls on my floor ended up going with them to look for a party and that was the end of that because we lost her to them.

We didn’t really trust those guys who came so we stayed back, but by the time we we to go get her too, they already left.

By this point there was me, my friend (who was well buzzed), and girl drunk and missing her ex boyfriend in another country, and a really drunk couple. God help me.

We decided well we got drunk tonight, were gonna find a party to. Which didn’t go so well since we didn’t even make it on to the main roads.

After some 1 2 3’s, and bloody knees, we made it to the last building before that rapture began. 

Me and my friend took everyone inside the building just so people can freshen up, become a little less drunk but that didn’t work. Eventually the boyfriend of the couple and the lonely girl started to hurl, and the girlfriend was walking about aimlessly. She on the other hand though, normally is quite monotone and harsh, but after being intoxicated she becomes so nice and loving. It was quite a sight.
After I took care of the boyfriend, and my friend took care of the girls we decided to head back to our floor, since the tears started to roll in. The lonely girl wanted to call her ex and because he didn’t pick up she started to wallow. Seeing her get all upset, the girlfriend started to cry for her.
After that, we all decided it was best to head home.

Once me and my partner in crime finally took the girls and the boyfriend back to our floor. We ran.

Finally we can talk about how I met John Doe.

So we basically ran down the street roughly at 11:30pm for 20 minutes. Yes. 20 minutes and drunk while at it. JUST BECAUSE supposedly there was this really cute white boy there and he was going to leave at any minute. When we finally got there I was too floored to see my friend that I disregarded the friend that I came with and the supposedly cute why boy.

Right after I came my friend pulled me aside just to tell me not to make out with this guy because he was such a douche bag. But of course I listened; and the moment I stepped out of the bathroom (all serious girl talks happen in the bathroom) there’s four more guys walking around in the living room.

After doing some quick intros around the room, I met everyone, the supposedly cute white guy, his gay friend, the four other guys from the building as well.

Then there was the splashes of beer in cups, and my team losing. John Doe and I lost  our game. The punishment: the naked run. John Doe being a sweetheart got a replacement for me, even though I didn’t mind.

More shots, and talk, sitting on laps, and eating cake. Being lifted to the sky, touching the ceiling tops, hide outs in bathrooms, and a good bye kiss.

He became too drunk and fell asleep in his room. Some while later when he came out I said my goodbye. He leaned in for the kiss and yes. We kissed.

I stayed the night, a floor above him, while my friend/partner in crime walked back home. She did have a friend who walked her back, 20 minutes there and 20 minutes back.

A guy who liked me from six months ago, apparently still liked me; and yes he was at the party. I saw him as a friend.
Maybe the alcohol opened him to a stranger, but he told he needed to walk my friend home just so he can get away.
Though I feel bad, nothing happened and six months did pass.

John Doe, I gave him my number, but I’m quite sure that I entered it in wrong. Sadly not on purpose.

So the two options of the night. 
1. He liked me and texted me and it went to no one. 
2. He didn’t like me and chose not to text me 

Sadly, I will not know. 


No Filter.


I am very angry right now. 

I know I mentioned this before, how there is no secrecy on my floor, but that doesn’t mean you just tell anyone anything. When I was talking about secrecy before it was more about who’s doing what; when.

Today three extra people know something about me that they did not need to know. And it urks me so much that it came from a friend. The situation was slightly awkward because only me and my friend knew about me, but that doesn’t give her the right to tell them about me.
The worst part was the I heard my friend tell them, have them freak out AND her telling them to shush because I might overhear.

blah. I don’t know what to do. It wasn’t something I needed them to know.

Quick as they come; They go


There are many things in life you enjoy in a quick moment;

For example, waiting for food all day just to have it be placed in front of you, of course you’re going to inhale everything in one bite. Or when you wait in line to go on the roller coaster of the summer, and when you finally get seated in, go up that long and painfully slow ramp, the spur of emotions all happens to quick as you go  down in seconds.

It’s just the same with crushes. They come so fast and disappear.

I feel like when you’re really not looking for anything there is no investment. Personally I hate to drown all my emotions into a crush. They are a crush; the worst is when you two barely speak, and you’re living off this fantasy that you two will eventually talk and everything will be like princess fairy tale.

Maybe I’m a pessimist, or after a relationship I don’t want anything but fun. BUT being in a new university surrounded by people I feel like I should get out there and do something. But ugh, the process for all this is too long. Way too long.

Mother does.


I have a huge fear of bees/wasps!

I’ve never been stung by one and I don’t wanna start now.

Growing up I was a princess; I couldn’t help it. I grew up in a suburban city, there were no scary bugs and snakes and such. Mosquitoes came in the summer, worms in the spring, and practically nothing in autumn and fall.

But my Mother on the other hand, grew in South Asia. Oh where all them creatures are, snakes, insects, moths, things that bite you, things that are poisonous etc. So my mother also being a princess, it was  her mother (my grandmother) that had to kill all the little demons that sneaked into the house.

And so today, I ended up leaving the front door a tad bit open and a wasp flew into the house. Being a little pansy that I was I started flailing my arms running for me very life. Of course calling my mother to help me. She walks into the living room (like a boss might I say) with a fly swatter and a dustpan and smushes the wasp against the window. She picks it up with her dustpan and walks to the front door while she was accusing of letting the wasp in the house in the first place.

When she came back inside, she said

“Once you turn into a mother, you have to forget all the fears you have, because you’re not protecting yourself anymore. You’re protecting your children”. 

That struck a cord with me because, I’m afraid of all insects that fly, so will there be a day where I’m the one running to kill these little monsters for my children?



I know before I was complaining about how it was hard to make friends, and now in a week my whole floor is like family.
Of course there are people you like less than others, and others who you would want to spend more one on one time with. And all my life I’ve never really had a huge friend group at a time. Though I always did wonder how it would feel to have a large group of friends.

I realized there are many pros and cons to having your whole floor as your friends.

For example, if I wanted to have a one on one and make a connection with one person it’s so hard to do! Or to drink with a few friends…nuh uh. That will not happen…ever. There is no secrecy, and I for sure need mine! I don’t share my life story with everyone, and I’m not choosing now to start. Everyone also seems to know about your plans as well.

Though if we wanted to go to a party most of us would be down. And there’s always someone for a lunch/dinner date, BUT you may get that random person that may join.

I know it’s only been my second week, but I realized that I have to be careful of what I say and how I act. It’s not like I don’t like these girls I’m just not used to this many people, and my distrust in people doesn’t help either.




For the past two week I’ve been calling my 2×3 room “home”. 
Force of habit? I don’t know. Does it really only take a person 14 days to call a new place home?

To me it feels really weird right now to be sitting in my own bed, though it is exceptionally more comfy than my other bed. And the room is much more spacious and not to say SO much warmer. 

As of right now I’m not sure which is home to me..



It’s now 4:36am, after a long night of barely stupid fun I’m staring at an adidas baseball cap in my room.



I don’t think I understood the concept of when there was a boy of Asian culture lying in my bed refusing to leave. It may be the fact that I don’t think that both an asian boy and a brown girl can ever spend time in that manner. I have seen multiple asian girl with brown guy combo but never vice versa.
So after everything (briefly holding hands, him sleeping in my bed, THEN just getting up and leaving!) I really don’t know what’s happening since I went to go give him his hat in the first place. Then he followed me into MY room and slept, that occured twice and then he got up and left.

and now I’m staring at an adidas baseball cap in my room.



So it’s like 5:28 as I am currently writing this, and it’s because a couple of minutes ago my friend of only five days just left. What the hell were we doing?
We basically had a heart to heart, and it blows my mind that I have opened up to this girl about my life, to the minor details. And she did the same to me. 

There were tears (of course), laughs and hugs. 

I’m genuinely glad I have met a person like this. And after losing a friend of many years a little while ago it’s nice to have something so comfortable and similar but obviously better. 

The start to a great friendship, hopefully I don’t jinx it.