Drunk Words ; Sober Thoughts.

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House parties are fun. I quite enjoy them, they aren’t too crowded, by the end of the night you tend to make a friend, and usually you don’t get felt up by some dude (unless you want it.)

Tonight, I was suppose to go to a house party and things all flopped.
Then I came to realize sometimes I don’t like going out and meeting new people, I like bonding with the ones who are already close to me. So tonight ended up being me, my bestie, and my two friends on my floor. I don’t know what happened but, I really liked the whole experience.
Usually me and my bestie are the ones to stay up until god knows how long and just talk about stuff, and we haven’t done that in so long that I was okay not going anywhere.

At first we were two sober for the other two girls who mean a lot to me. Barely into it, we were just as bad as them. And thus a lot of drunk words, with a lot of sober thoughts.

The night finally ended in a circle of lifting shirts, more talks with my bestie, a walk through the snow, and a long night of sleep.

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Crumbling.

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In life we all have our moments.

The breaking point. 

I feel it is more severe in students then it is in any other age. I could be wrong since I am the age I am. I know there is such a thing called “mid life crisis” and I know inevitably I will suffer from it. But I’m beginning to realize why in movies kids commit suicide because of the pressure of university/college. It is overwhelming, no one is ever prepared for such a life switch, especially if you’re living away from home!

Personally it pisses me off to see people here doing so well, adapting so fast, adjusting like water. While I’m over here with my head barely above water. Then I run into people who just can’t keep their shit together, OR breakdown so quickly.

For example, one of my floor mates broke into tears, and let me say it was not her first time bawling her eyes it, (probably her 4th time crying since she got here). She was hicking, and shaking because she missed her deadline time by minutes. She finished her essay before but just waited to submit it later. By handing it late she lost 5%, I understand that it may be a lot, though she did first say it was 15% then acted like she wasn’t EXAGGERATING. But in any case I feel like if it were me in her situation I’ve would’ve looked at the time stamp said “oh…shit” then send my prof an email saying,

“hey, I’m sorry I missed the time by 5 minutes, I had the essay finished before but I just wanted to look it over, is there a possibility that I won’t be penalized?”

or at least something like that. I am her friend and I am suppose to her her support and tell her everything is alright, but at the same time, it was her fault to not stare at the time stamp given especially when they are so abnormal.
Hey, I’ve missed a couple participation classes, just because, what can you do? There are days were you are so tired you end up oversleeping, or you forgot to write it down. What can you do about it?

Back to point, I feel like I am so calm about everything turning to shits, that eventually when everything ends up piling up I break down and crumble. Or I end up over worrying about something then freak out about it.

Well I have yet to reach my “Crumbling down & withering away” point but when I do. You shall know.