Doubts : Good or Bad

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Is it bad to have doubts?

I’m acting liked a scorned woman and the thing is, I have never been scorned before (by a man). But here I am, second guessing everything and not wanting to actually like this guy.

My mind is literally split into two.

One side is saying

“Yea, he likes you”

And the other side is saying

“How are you so sure? What if his end goal was sex? He’s already got that. What more is there? A relationship? Hah.”

Which I have to admit is true. Sex is the epitome of what people want. I mean relationships are meant for the emotional connection, but let’s be real. Sex is good, and if you can have it, why deny it?

BUT. That’s also why the tip is to not give it up until both parties are relatively invested. I can’t say I regret anything, because for the moment it was good. And I’ve learned to not expect much from the get go, it’s the easiest way to be disappointed, but it’s also the easiest way to lose one’s sense of romance. I wish there was a perfect blend of looking through rose tinted glasses and live that fairy-tale life, but also have your expectations and desires in check. That would make life way too easy.

Anyways, the last time I saw Tinder guy was on my birthday, so it’s been almost two weeks soon. CONVINIENTLY his phone is working so we now resorted to messaging on tinder again, and SUPPOSEDLY his work schedule is all fucked up and he’s endlessly busy.

But the thing is were still talking though it has died down considerably since the switch, but he wanted to see me tonight quick before he left for his birthday thing, but I turned it down since I was going to go out and to me there is no point to squish in a meet up. We’re not meeting up to talk about some business project, we see each other for the company, so why rush it? Just so he can say he saw my face?

I’m not mad though, I think I lost my nerves and the sense of “do I care” I mean I still like the guy. But I feel like I didn’t see him enough times to be so invested that if this fell apart I’m not going to be too hurt. Does that make me seem heartless? $:

I understand that because I was also consensual to the sex I can’t be mad that he “took” that from me. I can’t be pissed at him if his phone broke, and I can’t be upset if he’s busy with work and ends late, I’m a student and he’s not. It’s just the circumstances that we’re in. I want to say that I’m understanding but I’m questioning if I truly am understanding or if I already gave up.

~ Cheers Guys.

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