Settled.

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Yup. It’s settled, I’ve become friends with most people on my floor now, which is amazing. 

I’ve heard others complaining about how terrible their floor has been, how girls don’t have their doors open, or how no one talks to each other. Ours isn’t like that at all, which, my god is amazing. Today we all went to an event together, and even though a friend and I got separated we managed to catch up. We’re also deciding on weekend movie nights/dinners etc.
I’m hoping those who are in harder majors don’t get tooooo busy but, as of right now i’m very content and feel good.  

Friends!

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I remember someone saying that it’s really lonely floating around in space alone, since there’s no sound anywhere. I don’t think I realized the severity of that situation until recently. 
I mean, think about that; I myself always say “Yea, I can handle being by myself for a bit” but realistically I still have my phone on me, and I’m MOST LIKELY listening to my music on full blast. 

No matter how alone you are there are distractions that can help kill time. But in space, where there’s PURE silence and you, and the dark universe surrounding you. Now that my friends, is real alone-ness. 

But I’m glad I met people today that I can be me around, and talk about similar things, learn knew things, have them open my world just a little more. That tiny fear of making friends is slowly fading as the days go on. (Though I do have a faculty meeting thing which I’m not excited for at all). 

Packing.

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I’m basically leaving home.

Okay, it may be for university BUT!

1) as a female

AND

2) as a child from a South Asian family

this occurrence does not happen very often, and when it does it’s under great surveillance.

I’m counting down the days of course, and I’m at 9 days left. I feel really excited, obviously, because my freedom levels went from a 3 or a 4 to a 10+++++. I can’t deny that my parents have been pretty chill over the years, even when I screwed up pretty bad. There was a point in time that I thought my mom had no mercy, but I soon realized that was not the case. Though I don’t think she would forgive me if I ever came home with a child when I wasn’t married.

Back to the matter at hand. PACKING.

Damn!

I never really had the experience of packing for more than a week. There are so many different emotions that one goes through. And I think for females it’s just hell. The paranoia of leaving things, the fear of packing too much, the fear of packing too little, thinking of every situation where you might need a certain item…so on so forth.

On top of this misery for me, I’m also in the midst of packing to move houses, so basically I have two separate boxes of clothes, items etc. you know because I wasn’t being tortured already.

So I don’t think the reality has still hit me yet, I am excited I’m leaving but I haven’t grasped the fact that everything will be different and continue to stay different for the next 5 years of my life. And that it’s basically a new start. There’s no running back home because you’re scared or can’t handle the pressure.

There are moments where I wish I can go back to being four, then there are moments where I’m glad the age I am.