Sass.

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Hello. My name is Ace and I am a sassy bitch.

Though I know that, and my friends know that. Strangers don’t.

Which is the problem. Also! Apparently I am twice as more sassy when I get drunk. Whoopdeedooooo.

So Halloween weekend I was the biggest bully ever. And the thing is I am 5’1. I’m tiny. Tiny little me was telling everyone off!!

We were at this house party and yes I told some 6′ foot guy to step aside since I wasn’t talking to him. My roommate brought her friends over and I sassed them all out. I sassed her sassiest friend! I mean how!?

The best part…..I don’t even remember doing ANY of it.

Yup. No recollection what so ever. Great right.

Then to top it all off.

We were at burgerking. you know finishing our night. And these two douchebags walk in and starts telling us how amazing they are. How they earn so much money because they manage multi million dollar companies. Then they go on to talk about the one guy’s traps! TO QUOTE. “I go to the gym and only work on my traps. feel them. they’re huge. no?”

Dude. I’m in like for my fries. Do you really think I’m gonna care about your back muscles. Calm the eff down and walk away.

That was what I was thinking. Throughout the whole thing my friend was sarcastically say “ya. really? that’s so cool.” just to fill in the gaps of this horrendous conversation that NO ONE wanted.

After obviously laughing at them for not realizing that we didn’t care. He proceeded to google his name, which
1. My phone was at 8% so no thanks
2. I am frankly too lazy to get my phone out for some guy’s last name
and 3. AGAIN I DIDN’T CARE ENOUGH

So my response “To be honest I’d rather not.” to which he shoves his phone into my face with his last name googled. Really dude? Reaaalllly?? I legit could not even.

I just told the guy we’re in a line and to turn around and face the right way. And after having my back to him for like 2 mins he leans into my line of sight and asks me if I hate him. Realizing that I may have hurt his feelings a little I turned and told him. “listen, I don’t hate you. I don’t.” I mean I wasn’t gonna apologize. They were announcing to everyone in BK that they were the shit.

So then to which he tells me “no. no. you hate me” to which I ask “do you want me to hate you?”
He nods “ya I do.”
So I say “oh. Okay. then I do. I do hate you”
TO WHICH HE GETS UPSET AGAIN AND TURNS AROUND BITCHING.

i am floored at this point. This guy was worse than a woman being sad while pmsing or something. there was just no winning.

There was this guy close by who heard our conversation and told me i was being to harsh. so i asked him.
“I mean if i told you to sit in a chair and you sat in it AND THEN i bitched at you for sitting in that chair. What would you do?”
he thought about it for a second and nodded. “fair point” he said, agreeing with me. there was just no winning.

So finally. We got our food and dipped as fast as we could from that BK. and then just because I felt bad for being a little bit mean. every person that walked by me even if they were in just in normal clothes I told them they looked great. I was fucking oprah after BK, giving everyone i saw compliments!

ps. the douchebag from BK also grabbed my friends ass. after that point i thought he deserved a little reality check.

Drunk Words ; Sober Thoughts.

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House parties are fun. I quite enjoy them, they aren’t too crowded, by the end of the night you tend to make a friend, and usually you don’t get felt up by some dude (unless you want it.)

Tonight, I was suppose to go to a house party and things all flopped.
Then I came to realize sometimes I don’t like going out and meeting new people, I like bonding with the ones who are already close to me. So tonight ended up being me, my bestie, and my two friends on my floor. I don’t know what happened but, I really liked the whole experience.
Usually me and my bestie are the ones to stay up until god knows how long and just talk about stuff, and we haven’t done that in so long that I was okay not going anywhere.

At first we were two sober for the other two girls who mean a lot to me. Barely into it, we were just as bad as them. And thus a lot of drunk words, with a lot of sober thoughts.

The night finally ended in a circle of lifting shirts, more talks with my bestie, a walk through the snow, and a long night of sleep.