Sass.

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Hello. My name is Ace and I am a sassy bitch.

Though I know that, and my friends know that. Strangers don’t.

Which is the problem. Also! Apparently I am twice as more sassy when I get drunk. Whoopdeedooooo.

So Halloween weekend I was the biggest bully ever. And the thing is I am 5’1. I’m tiny. Tiny little me was telling everyone off!!

We were at this house party and yes I told some 6′ foot guy to step aside since I wasn’t talking to him. My roommate brought her friends over and I sassed them all out. I sassed her sassiest friend! I mean how!?

The best part…..I don’t even remember doing ANY of it.

Yup. No recollection what so ever. Great right.

Then to top it all off.

We were at burgerking. you know finishing our night. And these two douchebags walk in and starts telling us how amazing they are. How they earn so much money because they manage multi million dollar companies. Then they go on to talk about the one guy’s traps! TO QUOTE. “I go to the gym and only work on my traps. feel them. they’re huge. no?”

Dude. I’m in like for my fries. Do you really think I’m gonna care about your back muscles. Calm the eff down and walk away.

That was what I was thinking. Throughout the whole thing my friend was sarcastically say “ya. really? that’s so cool.” just to fill in the gaps of this horrendous conversation that NO ONE wanted.

After obviously laughing at them for not realizing that we didn’t care. He proceeded to google his name, which
1. My phone was at 8% so no thanks
2. I am frankly too lazy to get my phone out for some guy’s last name
and 3. AGAIN I DIDN’T CARE ENOUGH

So my response “To be honest I’d rather not.” to which he shoves his phone into my face with his last name googled. Really dude? Reaaalllly?? I legit could not even.

I just told the guy we’re in a line and to turn around and face the right way. And after having my back to him for like 2 mins he leans into my line of sight and asks me if I hate him. Realizing that I may have hurt his feelings a little I turned and told him. “listen, I don’t hate you. I don’t.” I mean I wasn’t gonna apologize. They were announcing to everyone in BK that they were the shit.

So then to which he tells me “no. no. you hate me” to which I ask “do you want me to hate you?”
He nods “ya I do.”
So I say “oh. Okay. then I do. I do hate you”
TO WHICH HE GETS UPSET AGAIN AND TURNS AROUND BITCHING.

i am floored at this point. This guy was worse than a woman being sad while pmsing or something. there was just no winning.

There was this guy close by who heard our conversation and told me i was being to harsh. so i asked him.
“I mean if i told you to sit in a chair and you sat in it AND THEN i bitched at you for sitting in that chair. What would you do?”
he thought about it for a second and nodded. “fair point” he said, agreeing with me. there was just no winning.

So finally. We got our food and dipped as fast as we could from that BK. and then just because I felt bad for being a little bit mean. every person that walked by me even if they were in just in normal clothes I told them they looked great. I was fucking oprah after BK, giving everyone i saw compliments!

ps. the douchebag from BK also grabbed my friends ass. after that point i thought he deserved a little reality check.

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Drunk Words ; Sober Thoughts.

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House parties are fun. I quite enjoy them, they aren’t too crowded, by the end of the night you tend to make a friend, and usually you don’t get felt up by some dude (unless you want it.)

Tonight, I was suppose to go to a house party and things all flopped.
Then I came to realize sometimes I don’t like going out and meeting new people, I like bonding with the ones who are already close to me. So tonight ended up being me, my bestie, and my two friends on my floor. I don’t know what happened but, I really liked the whole experience.
Usually me and my bestie are the ones to stay up until god knows how long and just talk about stuff, and we haven’t done that in so long that I was okay not going anywhere.

At first we were two sober for the other two girls who mean a lot to me. Barely into it, we were just as bad as them. And thus a lot of drunk words, with a lot of sober thoughts.

The night finally ended in a circle of lifting shirts, more talks with my bestie, a walk through the snow, and a long night of sleep.

No regrets…But

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Based on the previous post also being sobered up now. (I also can not believe that I was able to make a full post whilst drunk without any typos either).

But back to the matter at hand. I ended up making out with a guy, no big deal, but, turns out he was the roommate of the guy I genuinely wanted to meet. So there you go, I’ve made a name for myself.

In all honesty, I really don’t care of what others think, nor do I think that making out with someone at a party is even a rumor worthy event. But turns out if two people were to go into a room and make out no one would think of the situation like that.

Which is why I’m kind of glad, for me it happened on a kitchen counter in a corner. Though would have I done it again, no.
I was placed into that position a little because of my inability to say no. I am not blaming the guy, nor myself, but I was pretty tipsy and single plus he was cute, but just a douchebag. But when he did ask “come back to my place” I stayed firm and said no.

I did say yes, to tomorrow, but let’s be real, he wanted to hear it, so I said it. Overall I never realized how hard it was to say a POLITE no. I mean you could smack the guy in the face with the word no and tell them to basically fuck off. But I don’t want to embarrass them either, AT THE SAME TIME, guys get the hint!

We are trying to subtly tell you no, so that neither of us gets embarrassed and have to face that issue for the rest of the party. AND I don’t get this, why  must guys, WHO DON’T EVEN KNOW THE OTHER GUY PERSONALLY still want them to hit homerun with a chick. Like my friend wanted to get me out of that situation but when she tried, a couple guys were like “don’t cockblock them” even though I sent her a “hey, come save me” text.

I’m not sure how the “bro code” works for you guys, but please don’t stop a girl from helping another girl out if that’s what she wants. Because that’s girl code for us.

Damn.

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This is coming from a short brown girl. Who’s believed her whole life that no Asian man of any sort would find a brown girl attractive.
I may be delusional or perhaps drunk (let’s be real that’s when these things happen) but tonight has been the second night in uni that an Asian guy has willingly made-out with me.

Though I think tonight would’ve gone further IF I have let it, but I didn’t.

I don’t know, I’m a girl who comes from Toronto, the most multicultural city in Toronto and I’m still having a hard trim adjusting to the fact that I can be liked by other ethnicity. I’m not sure if that is racist, because I am down playing myself here, but it is mind boggling that I do appeal to men.

Food for thought I guess.

John Doe.

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First off, there are far too many titles for this post.
Saturday night was both pleasant and hell for me.

By this point in the day I don’t think I even remember anything of what happened last night. I do know that after getting two of my girls back to our floor I had a great time.

So, to start:

4/6 girls wanted to get, and quote shitfaced

and from the moment they said they wanted to do that, I knew. I knew it was going to get bad.

So they all had their shots, one too many in my opinion. One girl’s friends came which were three other guys and another girl, though she really didn’t seem to fit the “partying” look. Anyways one of the girls on my floor ended up going with them to look for a party and that was the end of that because we lost her to them.

We didn’t really trust those guys who came so we stayed back, but by the time we we to go get her too, they already left.

By this point there was me, my friend (who was well buzzed), and girl drunk and missing her ex boyfriend in another country, and a really drunk couple. God help me.

We decided well we got drunk tonight, were gonna find a party to. Which didn’t go so well since we didn’t even make it on to the main roads.

After some 1 2 3’s, and bloody knees, we made it to the last building before that rapture began. 

Me and my friend took everyone inside the building just so people can freshen up, become a little less drunk but that didn’t work. Eventually the boyfriend of the couple and the lonely girl started to hurl, and the girlfriend was walking about aimlessly. She on the other hand though, normally is quite monotone and harsh, but after being intoxicated she becomes so nice and loving. It was quite a sight.
After I took care of the boyfriend, and my friend took care of the girls we decided to head back to our floor, since the tears started to roll in. The lonely girl wanted to call her ex and because he didn’t pick up she started to wallow. Seeing her get all upset, the girlfriend started to cry for her.
After that, we all decided it was best to head home.

Once me and my partner in crime finally took the girls and the boyfriend back to our floor. We ran.

Finally we can talk about how I met John Doe.

So we basically ran down the street roughly at 11:30pm for 20 minutes. Yes. 20 minutes and drunk while at it. JUST BECAUSE supposedly there was this really cute white boy there and he was going to leave at any minute. When we finally got there I was too floored to see my friend that I disregarded the friend that I came with and the supposedly cute why boy.

Right after I came my friend pulled me aside just to tell me not to make out with this guy because he was such a douche bag. But of course I listened; and the moment I stepped out of the bathroom (all serious girl talks happen in the bathroom) there’s four more guys walking around in the living room.

After doing some quick intros around the room, I met everyone, the supposedly cute white guy, his gay friend, the four other guys from the building as well.

Then there was the splashes of beer in cups, and my team losing. John Doe and I lost  our game. The punishment: the naked run. John Doe being a sweetheart got a replacement for me, even though I didn’t mind.

More shots, and talk, sitting on laps, and eating cake. Being lifted to the sky, touching the ceiling tops, hide outs in bathrooms, and a good bye kiss.

He became too drunk and fell asleep in his room. Some while later when he came out I said my goodbye. He leaned in for the kiss and yes. We kissed.

I stayed the night, a floor above him, while my friend/partner in crime walked back home. She did have a friend who walked her back, 20 minutes there and 20 minutes back.

A guy who liked me from six months ago, apparently still liked me; and yes he was at the party. I saw him as a friend.
Maybe the alcohol opened him to a stranger, but he told he needed to walk my friend home just so he can get away.
Though I feel bad, nothing happened and six months did pass.

John Doe, I gave him my number, but I’m quite sure that I entered it in wrong. Sadly not on purpose.

So the two options of the night. 
1. He liked me and texted me and it went to no one. 
2. He didn’t like me and chose not to text me 

Sadly, I will not know.