It’s so scary to like someone, you know wholeheartedly. It’s scary to know there is a person who fits your standards, and to realize your standards weren’t false. It’s scary to think where this could all go. It’s scary to think if this is going to end within a day. It’s scary to try.

After day 1, and after everything that has happened. It’s so weird to meet someone like me but also different. I’m not sure how I feel about him being so similar to me because it’s so strange to say I feel like I like him because he reminds me of me. Isn’t that a little to narcissistic.

I spent four days with this guy and I don’t know how I feel. But somehow I broke down by the second day and told this guy, the first ever male in my life who wasn’t family my deepest darkest secret, that has made me the person I am today. The cynical, distrusting, bitch that I am. One part of me is so glad for the person I have become, but the other always questions what I could have been. After I broke down, so did he. And we both agreed because of the fact we put so much trust and faith into other which we normally wouldn’t have done with someone we barely knew, there had to have been something there. Sunday morning, we were dating, I guess. haha. Neither of us wanted to admit it. But we’re a couple, and I still cringe thinking about it.

But I still for sure know that I’m scared, and probably always will be scared.



No Filter.


I am very angry right now. 

I know I mentioned this before, how there is no secrecy on my floor, but that doesn’t mean you just tell anyone anything. When I was talking about secrecy before it was more about who’s doing what; when.

Today three extra people know something about me that they did not need to know. And it urks me so much that it came from a friend. The situation was slightly awkward because only me and my friend knew about me, but that doesn’t give her the right to tell them about me.
The worst part was the I heard my friend tell them, have them freak out AND her telling them to shush because I might overhear.

blah. I don’t know what to do. It wasn’t something I needed them to know.