This Again?

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Oh how the tinder world is so bizarre.

Over the Winter Break I somehow found myself re-installing the dreaded tinder app. Yay. I was back in a bigger city and for the first five days I was home, I really wasn’t into meeting with people and talking about how our lives have been. I mean I just spent the last two weeks living in a library studying for finals, it’s not like I’ve been doing much.

But I still went on and still swiped (how much I’m hating myself as I’m writing this) and matched. I don’t really go on to talk to people, I typically do it because I’m bored and wanted to kill time. But that’s a pretty rude thing to say to a person when they are the first to talk.  Continue reading

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Battered with Books.

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Even after many years I still had a high school mentality.

Okay. I mean more like when it came to studying. All through my first year I was constantly cramming and doing assignments at the last minute. It all just felt so overwhelming. And then I would just go into a deep retreat into my bed (with minimal eating might I add) and binge watch whatever I wanted to watch.

Finally! This year have I finally learned my lesson. And learned the first step to survive Academics in University.

STUDY EVERY FUCKING DAY. 

Since I never studied like that. Ever. It just seems so difficult to do. But honestly though, it’s nice to see pretty decent marks being returned to me. ❤

Living.

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For a girl who spent the last four months living with people she didn’t know. Having a random guy be in the kitchen cooking 3 meters away from her room, this little princess was out of her comfort zone.

My last place was a complete mess.

Why?

Because no body gave a rat’s ass about the pig sty we were living in. None of us knew each other, and one girl had the audacity to let her boyfriend stay over every other week. I deliberately picked a place with all girls so that I didn’t have to worry about walking out of the shower to meet in the hall with a guy. Thank you very much.

But finally that is over and I am living with my friends now. And all I can say is that I am so glad to be living with friends. I honestly don’t know how people can live with others that they don’t know. Living alone is a different story but just living with random people I don’t think I can ever do that again; There was a ginger in it’s packaging on the counter top for 4+ weeks sprouting another stem. That’s how many shits were given at my place. And the funny thing is when friends asked to sleep over I told them not to because my place was filthy. No one believed how bad it could be until they took a step inside and saw their white socks turn black.

Alas living with friends isn’t all peaches and cream either. There’s the constant food mix ups, things getting tossed or used that you didn’t know about. Talking for long hours without getting work done, impromptu game/food/drinking/talking night (this sucks when its more than 2 days in a row). Cooking at the same time, and cleaning. Oh and sex too! I haven’t had to bear through it yet, but I know that when the day comes, it’s going to be hell.

But so far for now I am loving coming home to friends, and sharing my time with them. It truly is a second home.

Independence.

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So I just turned 20 a couple weeks ago. And finally living in an actual building with a bathroom I share with only one person. Trust me that’s something to celebrate when one goes to university.

But now, I actually have responsibilities, such as cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, cooking, sweeping! I mean I’ve done it before at home but my mother would still do it again since I’m shit at cleaning (sorry mommy. I try)

But it’s so strange for a someone like me, a girl who comes from a relatively strict family to walk around at 1am coming back from a friends into a building, pressing an elevator button and putting the keys in the door and stepping in. All the actions I see older women do in movies. Never once did I think I would step into a home where my parents weren’t there.

The other day I also stayed over at my friend’s ( a girl from high school) but we both stayed at her older sister’s place. Her sister’s place looks a lot less like an undergraduate’s home, but what a real adult would live in. But just then, when I walked in was when I realized that in 5 years or so, this is where I’d be too. And then another 5 years go by then I’d be 30.

I literally turned 20 two weeks ago and here I am thinking about a decade into the future!

There’s this whole new wave of independence that I feel bittersweet about.

Does anyone else feel like this in the twenties?

Birthday >< Sex

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For someone who had a light bet with her bestie for “the least amount of sexual relations” I just broke it and started losing.

Fucking Tinder Guy somehow got me to have birthday sex! I mean why the hell didn’t I do this with my own boyfriend!

The worst thing is, I was with my bestie drinking before he came, and she clearly asked

When are you going to have sex with “Tinder Guy”?
In like three months?

When she asked me, it seemed right to say yea that seems about right.

Then two hours later, there I am riding this giant of a man. I mean why the hell did I stop. It’s been so long I forgot how good it was.

Though I do feel bad for my roommates, I moved in less than 3 hours and I’m already christening my bed.
I do feel A LITTLE ashamed, because it’s literally the third date. And a couple weeks ago I was watching Grey’s Anatomy and Miranda was freaking out because she was just about to have her third date and the third date is “sex date” and she was determined not to have it. I always related to Miranda, except for this moment. I’m sorry Miranda I let you down.

Birthday sex was good though, and I’m glad I was prepared for it. But now that sex is in play how do I get to know more about this guy?

I revise my previous statement. Adulthood is damn well pleasant.

Over.

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Right now I should be studying for my last two finals, but I’d rather talk about how 8 months flew by and my first year is coming to an end.

It is surprising to see that a school year goes by so fast, and there are people who are counting the years left until they graduate. It’s shocking to see that each day and week go by so fast, but when you take a step back and start counting the months and years it feels like forever.

On top of all of this, in roughly 10 days I will also leave my teen years behind me as I turn twenty. That’s a life changer on it’s own. I mean I know that I was a teenager long ago, at least the mentality of one, but now the last remaining part my age that said it for me is going to change too.

I mean a part of me is really glad that I’m ending a decade of my life but the child in me still wants to live. But as the small person that I am, I don’t think I’m ever going to be taken seriously. I remember a woman thought I was 15. She took off 4 years, that my high school life. She basically threw me back to grade 9. I mean woman, I would be glad if I looked this good in grade 9. jeez.

It is clear that when you’re younger you want to look older, but once you get old, your strive for youth.

Anyway the point to this is that I finished the “grade 9” of university. It was hard and brutal I was not prepared for the education portion, I may have failed. God knows. I fell into dark times, the winter here really drains one’s soul. I had to deal with depressing issues with others which I never encountered until this year. But in light of it all I managed to grow even more, and meet new people, made new friends.

And honestly everything and everyone is ever changing, but in this moment I like it.