Death.

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Just a couple days ago was the death of my father’s boss. Why does it matter?
Because to me, that man was more of a grandfather to me, than the two I already had. And it sucks as one grows up they tend to not visit people as much as they should.

I remember when I was younger I saw him once at least every summer. But was also before I left the city for school and before he continuously fell ill. But you know I could have seen him in the past two years. But bad people and bad timing stalled the whole process.

Even though we slowly drifted apart I was glad that I did call him and talked to him, because the moment my father called me to tell me that his boss has passed, I quickly thought back to the last possible time I talked to him. And then realized that what if…

Just what if that we didn’t end on good terms, It’s already too late. The person is dead, and there is nothing that anyone can do about it now. That other person will leave the world thinking that you were mad at them, or they’re still mad at you.

Aside from that, I have never had any too close to me pass, and I think this may be the first for me. Just the thought of the person is no more doesn’t seem to phase me. Also probably because the idea of that seems ridiculous; until it isn’t.

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What?

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It’s now 4:36am, after a long night of barely stupid fun I’m staring at an adidas baseball cap in my room.

What?

Exactly.

I don’t think I understood the concept of when there was a boy of Asian culture lying in my bed refusing to leave. It may be the fact that I don’t think that both an asian boy and a brown girl can ever spend time in that manner. I have seen multiple asian girl with brown guy combo but never vice versa.
So after everything (briefly holding hands, him sleeping in my bed, THEN just getting up and leaving!) I really don’t know what’s happening since I went to go give him his hat in the first place. Then he followed me into MY room and slept, that occured twice and then he got up and left.

and now I’m staring at an adidas baseball cap in my room.