This Again?

Oh how the tinder world is so bizarre.

Over the Winter Break I somehow found myself re-installing the dreaded tinder app. Yay. I was back in a bigger city and for the first five days I was home, I really wasn’t into meeting with people and talking about how our lives have been. I mean I just spent the last two weeks living in a library studying for finals, it’s not like I’ve been doing much.

But I still went on and still swiped (how much I’m hating myself as I’m writing this) and matched. I don’t really go on to talk to people, I typically do it because I’m bored and wanted to kill time. But that’s a pretty rude thing to say to a person when they are the first to talk. 

So one guy asks, waffles or pancakes, and obviously waffles. They are crunchy and soft at the same time! Then he asked syrup or butter…Who eats waffles OR pancakes with butter $: Blasphemy.
And apparently I answered his questions right, and we talked. A little bit more and we ended up texting instead.

Personally I didn’t know where this was going nor did I care. It’s not like the past times I met guys on Tinder actually worked out.

Somehow we ended up spending New Years Eve together. Yes our first date-ish thing was new years eve. I didn’t want to drink that night, and spend half the night trying to come back home from Toronto. So we settled to watch a movie (which was Sisters. Yes. A Romcom. And yes, he likes them too).

We got there an hour early, talked, watched the movie, kinda talked and then kissed and then I went home. To be honest, it was mediocre. But then again it was last minute, neither of us wanted to do other things, I would say both of us weren’t expecting a lot. But somehow this guy got my sense of humor, he was kinda a dick which I’m good with, and he was sarcastic. Huge plus point.

So he was leaving the second of January and I was heading back to school the third. But I asked anyways and we ended up going shopping, which I was kinda urked about since he was late! As punishment he was to pick where we ate. But we ended up not eating and spent the rest of the night walking around downtown and talking. Again completely content with, and this time I actually got to know him more since we actually talked for more than an hour and a half.

We got on about our friends, how we are, he threw in compliments, I received them quite gracefully at first and then I got awkward AF with them. Which he found cute, so he threw more. Fml.

There was never the first/second/third/first start dating politeness, we were both blunt and kinda rude to deal with that shit. We said what we thought, and neither of us took it to heart. Which I found was great. If it’s too cold to hold hands outside, then why suffer holding hands, let go and shove your damn hands back into our pockets where it’s warm.

I don’t think it’s about suffering for the other person, I think it’s about understanding the other person and their situation. – this applies to many other situations too.

And quickly after that night, I found him heading to his University and I, heading to mine. We were now and hour and a half apart.

Except for this weekend where he’s visiting me…

Still don’t know how to feel. This is the fastest that anything ever did move. So, boundaries are still up, trust isn’t fully given, and words are still filtered.
Before I was certain that I either liked or disliked, now it’s a huge jumble of gray area, and I don’t like it at all. Maybe over time like before I’ll get over it, but I’m also doubting that, because not like before, I now find myself, smiling at texts, and thinking about the future.

Not to freak anyone out, but it’s scary how fast things go when it’s a person you mesh with.

T-minus 4 days until D-day.