Month: October 2014

No regrets…But

Based on the previous post also being sobered up now. (I also can not believe that I was able to make a full post whilst drunk without any typos either).

But back to the matter at hand. I ended up making out with a guy, no big deal, but, turns out he was the roommate of the guy I genuinely wanted to meet. So there you go, I’ve made a name for myself.

In all honesty, I really don’t care of what others think, nor do I think that making out with someone at a party is even a rumor worthy event. But turns out if two people were to go into a room and make out no one would think of the situation like that.

Which is why I’m kind of glad, for me it happened on a kitchen counter in a corner. Though would have I done it again, no.
I was placed into that position a little because of my inability to say no. I am not blaming the guy, nor myself, but I was pretty tipsy and single plus he was cute, but just a douchebag. But when he did ask “come back to my place” I stayed firm and said no.

I did say yes, to tomorrow, but let’s be real, he wanted to hear it, so I said it. Overall I never realized how hard it was to say a POLITE no. I mean you could smack the guy in the face with the word no and tell them to basically fuck off. But I don’t want to embarrass them either, AT THE SAME TIME, guys get the hint!

We are trying to subtly tell you no, so that neither of us gets embarrassed and have to face that issue for the rest of the party. AND I don’t get this, why  must guys, WHO DON’T EVEN KNOW THE OTHER GUY PERSONALLY still want them to hit homerun with a chick. Like my friend wanted to get me out of that situation but when she tried, a couple guys were like “don’t cockblock them” even though I sent her a “hey, come save me” text.

I’m not sure how the “bro code” works for you guys, but please don’t stop a girl from helping another girl out if that’s what she wants. Because that’s girl code for us.

Damn.

This is coming from a short brown girl. Who’s believed her whole life that no Asian man of any sort would find a brown girl attractive.
I may be delusional or perhaps drunk (let’s be real that’s when these things happen) but tonight has been the second night in uni that an Asian guy has willingly made-out with me.

Though I think tonight would’ve gone further IF I have let it, but I didn’t.

I don’t know, I’m a girl who comes from Toronto, the most multicultural city in Toronto and I’m still having a hard trim adjusting to the fact that I can be liked by other ethnicity. I’m not sure if that is racist, because I am down playing myself here, but it is mind boggling that I do appeal to men.

Food for thought I guess.

Procrastination.

I know everyone does it. So don’t dare judge me.
My honest opinion, you should do it. Sparingly.

After that night of cray, you’re allowed to take 3 days to recover and end up not doing any work. BUT. After coming to uni I’ve discovered that I procrastinate to the MAX.

Before I was still smart about how I did it, and when I would do it. Now it’s the day it is due, I’m sitting in another class working on my lab. How awesome is that?

When I did it before, I would still work on it a couple days before so that I had time to finish. But I guess now it’s because I have other classes that I have to do work for as well, it’s really hard to manage when one is simultaneously working on courses.

It’s so angry to see other people when they are doing absolutely nothing, while you are working your ass off. And of course and the end they are the ones with a higher grade.

Time to get back to work again. This is me procrastinating.

xoxo I

She grazed her finger tips over his cheeks, the other holding the back of his neck. Breath held. Staring at those lips.

Even though the music in the background was loud, she heard barely a sound. It was better than silence, but she loved listening to his voice hick.

He ran his hands down then up, pulling her legs down on his leg, and then slipped them up the back of her shirt. Scraping his fingers up her back, making her arch.

She wished he just unhooked her, but no. The more his hands stayed on her skin without attacking, the more she wanted to strip and surrender.

Clutching the top of his shirt with one hand, the other found his bare back. Running her fingers along his spine, his voice caught for a moment.

His shorts were next. She had the waistbands of both his shorts and boxers between her fingers. She ached to pull them off, but shit. He was sitting. Barely kissing, since they were too distracted, she managed to skim his lips.

His hands finding places to go while hers had a goal; she pushed her right hand down, and he. He stopped; his breath at least.

She loved it. Smirked, and continued.

Age.

As I was sitting in the car, worrying about how I have five years of education to get through, after doing five in high school (I took an extra year because I wasn’t ready to grow up), I had to do another five in university.

Then I thought, by the time I’m done, I’ll be 25-26 by the end of my undergraduate. And I’m actually considering doing my Masters as well. So add another two years and there I’ll be 28 and finally done with school. Imagine being 28 and calling yourself a student. Ugh.

I don’t know. I always had a thing for wanting to be young, having no worries etc. It was never my thing to grow up, also probably because I am five feet tall so I already look young. I’m also one of those people who like to do fun things in my life…IN MY PRIME. Not when I’m old and 70, and let’s be real 70-75 is the new retirement age.

I wanna be able to travel the world and see things, explore and shamelessly be a tourist. But I feel like all of us, especially this generation is so consumed to find a job and stay alive, that no one really sees the rest of the world.

A good citizen is someone who spends the first 24 years studying their best, to pay back all the money they borrowed and then some. A good citizen is someone who is healthy and alive to pay taxes to keep the economy going. The sad thing is, we, citizens die, and the economy just keeps going.

We only have barely 100 years to live, and slowly but surely we age and die. So shouldn’t we make the most of it.

No one always stays young.

Sick.

Another thing I realized when living alone. The thing I was fearing.

Becoming sick, when you’re by yourself.

You’re bedridden and you can’t get up, you’re hot, sweaty, eyes tearing, head pounding and you still have to get up in the morning to make yourself a cup of tea. I basically spent the last two days rolling around in bed because I couldn’t do it myself.

If it wasn’t for my floormates I think I would’ve camped out in my room, with chips and hot water. I got food without leaving my room, warm honey water, and lotion, soft tissues.

Even though I still feel pretty bad, and miss having my mother take care of me, I think this is another milestone that one has to cross as they grow up. Who wants to be under their mother’s/father’s wing, and who really is going to run home the moment they get the sniffles.

My mother called and asked how I was, and mocked me if I wanted to come home, and when I said no, she said good, if you’re gonna be on your own, you have to do it right. (though she did keep texting/calling to see how I was.)
I’m sure it’s much harder on them then it is for me. But at the end of the day, you have to get up and take care of yourself.