Anti-Christmas

Apologies, regarding my 30 day writing thing, everything when to shit as finals rolled around.

But I will continue before this year finishes.

Moving on to Christmas though, you know that picture perfect movie-esque family time that everyone tries to emulate. I just had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen in my household this year. How?
Months prior I saw how my parents were acting, throw in my mom and my aunt not talking to each other I knew this was not going to be a very jolly Christmas.

And thus even after my finals were done which they were done pretty early ( I was done 2 days into finals just starting) so I had like 3 weeks of break. Which I did not want to spend at home, in my tiny ass house, with my family. So I stayed with my friends for another week, and honestly even though I felt like I had no purpose being there, (I feel like my home town I’m suppose to chill and the moment I to the city where my school is I’m suppose to study) so the moment I had nothing to study it felt weird. But nonetheless, I stayed, played squash, actually took notes for next semester, binged how I met your mother, had dinner etc. It was great.

Then coming home, just didn’t settle with me. I really didn’t wanna leave.

Walking into my front door, there was the tree in the corner, well decorated too actually, my mom did a great job. I’m the one who always sets up the tree with no help, decorates it, decorates the house, windows, railings etc. and you know just sets the holiday mood.

There was no holiday mood to set this year. Maybe it’s the lack of winter as well, but dear lord, it was draining to be in that home.
Honestly without that tree in the room, there are 5 gifts in the living room and nothing else to show for Christmas spirit.

I also don’t know what to buy anyone so I have yet to do christmas shopping, and there’s 2 days left. Throw in the constant fights, a tiny house which takes you like 30 steps to walk from one side to another, no snow, and one sad tree there is no hope.

I understand this time is for family and stuff, but nothing is really helping this year.