When I cry I feel like the world doesn’t exist.
I’m in a vacuum of my own emotions, speaking to myself
the words I choose to say vary between how I feel about myself.
Victim
Failure
Resilient
Ever-growing
Evolving
Changing.
I think we are constantly changing, every experience shifts us.
We learn, and grow and adapt to new ways.
But I realized, for a long time I was adapting to survive, to blend in, to pass on by not being noticed, not stirring trouble.
I wonder why that was.
Trauma, I know why.
But I choose not to. Not anymore.
I want to take up space, I want to hear the echoes of my voice, I want to see the color drip from my fingers, the vibrations of the plates beneath my feet. Feel the healing glow from the past to the now.
I want to sit in my emotions, feel it with my soul, whether I cry or laugh, I want to be present with who I am. And who I am becoming.
I wish to be me, wholly.